


Flavortown Crusaders

by twittle



Category: Diners Drive-ins and Dives, Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Hell, M/M, Multi, Other, flavor town, probably going to get angsty, probably major character death in the future, sin - Freeform, sonic cries, the puppy is actually a lobster ok, this is really bad but its a work of art, this is set in part 4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 03:05:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4374788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twittle/pseuds/twittle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rohan gets sucked into flame shirt hell.. Guy fieri confesses his love for sonic.., what else could you possibly need?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

In the beginning there was a guy... A guy fieri. 

"Slamma jamma!!" exclaimed Guy as he took his first bite of Tonio Trussardi's delicious spaghetti "im on a one way train to flavor town!"  
Pepe frog and Sonic eagerly nodded their heads in agreement. The feast had begun and they were not looking to stop until they were completly satisfied. Or so they thought...  
In the middle of their meal, none other than Kishibe Rohan had walked in and taken a seat. "Peasants" mumbled Rohan, watching them eat as if they hadn't eaten in weeks, tears in their eyes, as they scarfed the food down like animals, Guy fieri doing that little moan of his between bites. "Tch look who it is" said Sonic, gesturing towards Rohan. Rohan waved down Tonio to order.  
But Guy stood up and stopped him in his tracks. "Hold it right there Rohan. My flavor senses are telling me you aren't worthy of flavortown." Fieri's body started shaking as his stand, 3D, emerged and opened his large food hole and started to suck Rohan into the void!!  
Rohan screamed out "YOU'LL NEVER SEND ME TO THE VOID YOU MONSTER" Sonic and Pepe watched in horror as the madness went down.  
Rohan gripped his chair with his own stand. "UUUUUHH" moaned 3D as he sucked harder and harder, forcing Kishibe into his mouth and swallowing him whole. It was done. Guy sat back down, furniture and dishes now thrown around the room, and continued his meal.  "Ne, Guy san, where does your stand send people to anyways?? I mean, will we ever see Rohan again?" Sonic asked cautiously. "He's in flame shirt hell now, where he belongs" Guy said, with a calm voice. "Lets just leave it at that" "Rohan your foods done!" Spoke Tonio as he walked out of the kitchen with the tray, unaware of what had just gone down. "I'm afraid rohan has left the building, we'll be glad to take that food off your hands. What did he order?" replied Guy. "Uhh lobster. I guess you guys can have it. Where did Rohan go? What happened here?? this place is a mess" "Rohan had to step out.. I don't think he'll be back for a long time." Sonic informed him. Guy gently stroked the lobster "nice puppy, nice puppy" and then part two of the feast began as they dug into the lobster, delicious.  

"Im mining for food in the river of flavor town, lets go look for more food guys" said the pointy haired flame daddy, standing up from his seat, ready to go find the next diner drive-in or dive. "Pfft don't you think you've had enough?" spoke Sonic, quite rudely. Pepe frog watched in horror as Guy turned to face Sonic, an annoyed look on his face. "Sonic, lets not forget you are the one who devoured that entire puppy with no remorse, poor poor puppy..." a single tear ran down Guy's  cheek. "I won't let that happen again... You're going to the void, goodbye Sonic." and with that, Guy summoned 3D and gave Sonic the succ.. It was done in an instant with no time for sonic to escape or fight back. "H-he's gone... Guy san why would you do that?? He was a good man!! Sonic kun didnt mean any harm!!" croaked Pepe Frog. All Guy could manage was a quiet "rest in peace, sweet puppy." as he turned and left the building leaving Pepe Frog all alone.  

"All that sucking got my belly a rumblin' " Guy thought, rubbing his stomach. Unfortunately, Morioh wasn't known for its food, there wasn't many restaurants guy liked in the area other than Tonio's, where he had just eaten at earlier that day. 

Guy wandered around Morioh, the occasional complaint from Rohan and Sonic could be heard.  "It stinks in here" "is this where all your dirty laundry goes?? What's with all the flame shirts!?" Guy paid them no mind and continued walking, now feeling melancholy.. He was lonely.  He swallowed up one of his only friends and abandoned the other.  What was a guy to do? Sure he could go see Josuke or fill his loneliness with food, but Guy just wasn't feeling it. He needed real entertainment.  

From the corner of his eye Guy saw the biggest puppy he has ever seen!!  Guy's excitement grew, he knew he had to ride this puppy all the way to flavortown. "Nice puppy, good puppy" Guy spoke, stroking the large lobster, he gained its trust, and mounted that puppy.  
Guy felt so free, feeling the wind through his hair as the puppy ran, faster and faster all through the town. His flame shirt flowing in the wind. He had to share this experience, but with who? Guy remembered the man he knew he loved, the one he wanted to be with forever, none other than the blue hedgehog himself. And though Guy was afraid to admit it to himself, he was so in love with that beautiful blue man. Feeling love sick thinking about Sonic, and forgetting his hunger, Guy Fieri decided it was time to tell him. So he summoned his courage and released Sonic from the void. Covered in layers of flame shirts, Sonic flew out of hell and angrly scolded Guy for trapping him with Rohan. The way Sonic's eyes reflected off the now setting sun captivated Guy, he stared, not even listening to Sonic's  angry rambling. Eventually the hedgehog settled down and they rode the puppy in silence.  Guy was ready to spill everything, to admit to Sonic his feelings. "Uh.. Sonic.. There's something I have to tell you" Guy blushed. "Eh? Ok." sonic gave him his attention. "Its just that I... Oh man this is weird I've never done this before, I .. When I look at you... I get the feeling I get when I see a really slamin' plate of food.. " Sonic looked at Guy, clearly confused. Slammin'? He thought, what is he talking about.. "Uhh, what??" Sonic said,clearly not understanding what Fieri was talking about. Guy awkwardly tugged at his shirt then looking away he spoke quickly "Sonic, what I mean is I really like you.. I mean I love you and every time I look into your eyes I feel like I'm in flavor town all over again." Guy slowly turned back to look at Sonic. The wind blowing through his blue hair made him look so beautiful. Sonics eyes looked cold.. Guy was scared what if he hated him now?? What if he didnt feel the same.. Questions raced through Guy's head as he waited for a reply. Suddenly guy noticed tears well up in Sonics eyes. "Sonic.. Are you ok? I didnt mean to..." " no Guy its nothing" Sonic interupted. "This is just so sudden.. I feel the same.. You make my heart beat faster than the speed of my legs when I'm running. I love you so much Guy.. I always have. " tears were now pouring from Sonics eyes. "I love you Sonic " Guy whispered as he wiped the tears from Sonic's eyes. They embraced for who knows how long.. The puppy walking steadily, the Sun almost completely set now, they sat in silence for a while, side by side, hand in hand just enjoying the ride. A feeling of peace and relief over both of them. Guy Fieri turned his head  and faced his boyfriend "thank you Sonic" Guy quietly spoke. "Hmm? For what?" Sonic spoke in a sleepy tone. "For everything, I don't know, just thank you so much.." "mmm" Sonic hummed, leaning into Guy's lap and closing his eyes.  Night had fallen fast and they were soon both asleep, the puppy had come to a hault and everything was quiet.


	2. Mista KIDNAPPED Guy Fieri?!!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mista kidnapps guy... Sonic is nowhere to be seen.... What will he do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This chapter is a little slower but its all leading up to something bigger than Flavortown itself!

"Good morning Sonic" spoke Guy Fieri, loving. Expecting his boyfriend to be next to him still resting on the big puppy. No reply...   
Guy looked all around, no sign of Sonic anywhere... "Sonic??" called Guy. Still nothing. He called out once more as loud as he could "SONIC ARE YOU HERE?" Silence. Worried, every possible thing that could have happened ran through guy's mind. "What if he got stuck under the puppy? What if he was attacked by an enemy stand? What if he went to get breakfast and got lost ??" but worst of all.. A thought he was scared to even consider... What if sonic decided he didn't really love him, and left without saying a word. With that thought, a single tear ran down Guy's cheek... What if? What would guy do, knowing the love of his life may have gotten up and abandoned him in the night. Panic overcame Fieri, jumping off the puppy Guy started running as fast as he could all through town, in search of Sonic. Some might even say he ran faster than Sonic on that fateful morning. 

After hours of running and searching everywhere, the exhausted Guy Fieri eventually stopped to rest, his legs giving out on him from exhaustion caused Guy to collapse. Panting on the ground in a strange alley Guy felt like he was going to pass out any minute. He ran so much, he never got a chance to eat, not once had he gone to flavortown that day. Not to mention how hot it was on this summer day... It was too much, Guy couldnt handle the physical and mental exaustion that his search for Sonic caused. Despite having a strange feeling like he was being followed this whole time, before he knew it, Guy was passed out, face down in an alley in a part of town he didnt quite recognize. 

A few hours and many nighmares about Sonic's disappearance later, Guy was awoken by someone tighty binding his arms and legs. Opening his eyes he realized he couldnt see a thing..  "Am i blindfolded too?" thought Guy to himself. Helpless and alone with his mysterious attacker in the alley, Guy tried to struggle, but to no avail. Why was this person so good at tying knots?? "WHAT IS THIS WHO ARE YOU?!?!" Guy screamed to his attacker. "Shh its ok" spoke a man, in a calm, quiet voice, almost how you would talk to calm a child. Hmm, the voice sounded somewhat familiar, but Guy couldnt quite remember who it belonged to.  Guy felt a hand on his head, for some reason he felt safe, sure he was in shock and very confused, but something inside him told him this guy had no real desire to hurt him. Either way though, Guy Fieri knew he couldnt just let this guy do whatever he wanted. He had to fight, but how.. He was tied up with no hope of escape.  He didnt even know what this guy looked like. Guy considered using his stand and sucking everything around him in hopes he captures his attacker... But he seems to remember seeing a big dumpster nearby before he passed out. No way did Guy want to deal with Rohan's complaining from inside his stomach if he swallowed a bunch of trash... So random sucking was out of the question.  Thanks a lot Rohan.... 

 

"Guy fieri.... Host of popluar American tv show, Diners Drive-ins and Dives.... I've been admiring you for a long time you know... I think im in love" the stranger stroked guy's face gently. "Nonononono this cant be happening" thought Guy. Suddenly he felt the stranger fumbling with his blindfold.. "I want to see your whole face, my love" spoke Guy's "obsessed fan" suddenly Guy was blinded by the bright light of day, after a moment of eye burning agony from the sudden brightness, Guy got a good look at the attacker. It was his.... Mailman??? Why was he doing this...? Admittedly, Guy did have the slightest crush on the man as they had spoken multiple time before when Guy had a package delivered or if he just happened to be outside when the man would come to deliever the mail. His clothes and hat were kind of funny but otherwise... Guy found the man physically very appealing... Like a fresh plate of spaghetti.. He didnt want to fight the man... Mista?? Guy seems to recall that being his name. However the current circumstances now made it nearly impossible to not fight him... Guy had to if he wanted to get out of here. now that Guy could clearly see where the man was, he could finally make his attack. "I dont even know if hes a stand user.." Guy thought. "Oh well... I have to fight either way." pulling out his stand he prepared for battle. Mista hesitantly pulled out a small handgun from.... The front of his pants???? Ok, weird... Guy didnt care much though, he just wanted this to be over with... Opening his stand's mouth wide, preparing for the succ, he got into battle position... Well as best as he could tied up on the ground.... The attacker hesitantly aimed his gun, clearly not wanting to shoot the man he adored for so long. Mista took aim, Guy was ready to suck... Mista, clearly shaking and just looking generally like he didnt want to do this, suddenly dropped his gun. He just couldnt do it... Why did he think doing any of this was a good idea in the first place..? "Stupid" mumbled Mista "stupid stupid stupid... Look guy, i cant fight you... Im sorry all of this was a stupid idea i... I dont know what i was thinking i just really wanted to...." he trailed off "Never mind, look im sorry ok I'll just untie you and leave now i guess" Guy cautiously put away his stand and allowed Mista to untie him without saying a word. However, Guy was not quiet when Mista tried to leave "No,wait we need to talk..." Fieri grabbed his arm to stop his attempt to flee "why did you.... Do all this? I mean you know its not ok, absolutely not worthy of flavortown and to be totally honest with you, i should send you to the void right now... But i need you to explain yourself first, Mista... Why?" "I'm sorry i just didn't know how else to approach you so i just.... I regret everything... I shouldn't have done that and i get it if you don't ever want to see me again. The thing is, ive kind of been... Watching you?? I mean like not like a stalker or anything i just really wanted to get to know you" mista waved his arms frantically to dismiss any thoughts of him being a stalker (even though clearly he was) "i really like you Guy.." mista managed to croak, his eyes now filling with tears of regret and shame. "And i think maybe, i love you?" Mista's voice cracked at his confession. Unsure what to do, Guy just stood there in silence.. His face turning red like a delicious lobster.  "Can you ever forgive me Guy Fieri, is there anything i can do to make it up to you?" Mista looked down in embarrassment "Hoo boy Mista you know what? All this has got my belly a rumblin. I could really go for a ticket to the flavortown express. Take me out to dinner  and maybe we'll put all this behind us" Guy winked, completely forgetting about his previous search for Sonic. "Soo like, a date, or?" Mista spoke looking up hopefully. "Yeah buddy, a date with the flavor gods" well, Guy clearly seemed to be in a good mood now that things had calmed down.... But with that Mista's heart sunk just a little "is he really only in it for the food, does he not get it that i really do love him" wondered Mista to himself. Oh well, either way he was going to take this opportunity to take the man he loved out to dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so big plans for chapter 3... Guy faces a difficult decision...


	3. meat sticks..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No homo only bromo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UM it's been a long time since i updated this so here's a mini chapter to get it going again

"mm MMM mista im starved where is this restaurant even at because i swear we've been going in circles for half an hour and my flavortown sense are tingling OFF THE HOOK hoo boy we better find this place quick or i may have to give you the succ so i dont starve and die, boy howdy am i a rumbin in my belly" guy fieri spoke eagerly

Mista did that gay anime blush at the /succ mention/ "im trying my best i just got a little turned around  s'all but now i know where im goin, see? its right up ahead, right there" mista pointed at what to guys dismay was...a restaurant known especially for their lobster dish...  
"puppy...." Guy whispered sadly  
"What'd u say?"  
"I SAID LETS GO EAT"   
"Wow mista the sign says this is a 4 star restaurant!! Fancy!!"   
mista gasped "UH I MEAN wrong resTAURANT I MEANT this one over here...ahaha....oops"   
("sorry guy but there's no way im gonna die today") mista thought to himself   
Mista pointed to restaurant across the street called "shwingers" with a big neon sign that read "our delicious food will rope you in like bungee gum!!"  
i wonder why mista suddenly changed his mind on the fancy place..oh well shwingers is better than going to flavortown on some innocent lobster puppies.." guy thought, a sudden memory of the huge puppy he and sonic rode together  once coming to his head..."sonic... shit sonics still out there somewhere what am i doing here with this guy..well it's not like i can back out now..he does owe me for tying me up in that alley...yeah that's all it is, its not like im cheating on sonic or anything..this is just mista treating me to an apology dinner..nothing more, its not like its a date or anything..." guy convinced himself in his head

"hey this sign says they serve beef sticks..wtf is a beef stick" laughed mista   
all guy could think about was mistas own beef stick...

"I want it inside me" mumbled guy

"WHat are you talking about man oh my go d" mista quickly replied,   
looking away to hide his own blush 

"I uh.. I mean like i want to try it ahahaa like..order it at the restaurant" guy was embarrassed that he let his thoughts slip out

"Oh...yeah of course...i knew thats what you meant hahaha i was just messin with ya...totally.." mista quickly repeated "no homo only bromo" in his head 3 times to try to deny his actually quite homo thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Im going to hell for this. things are going down in flavortown
> 
> huge shout out to Sam (ao3 name: adamsandler) for being a huge inspiration for the fic and their constant support, without them flavortown crusaders surely wouldnt exist. your ideas are what made it the hell fic it is today.


End file.
